Red Series

Monday, 21 May 2012

My Entry for the 2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest

The Lightning flashed blogfest will be held between Monday May 21 to Wednesay May 23. Cherie is hosting.

My entry: Flash Fiction

Word Count: 299 (minus Title)

Hope During the Storm

Lightning flashed. I peeked out my window at the rising water. Today was supposed to be a fun time at the beach. Instead I'm cooped up at home wondering if our 'wood shed' of a house can keep the water out long. Theresa had offered I stay at her house. A solid victorian style structure. But no I decided to go home because I wanted to be with my mother during a storm watch.

"Brenda," my mom slurred, "what's that racket?"

I kicked away empty vodka bottles as I left the window. "It's rain mom, a storm."

"But wasn't it supposed...oh my head."

"Yeah but it did some freak turn and hit us." I wasn't exactly a weather woman.

A window broke and air rushed in. My mother shrieked as I pulled her into our bedroom. We were going to die here. Two dumb squatters. QAt least I wouldn't have to show up for school. Trig tests are murder.

"Baby, I'm sorry," mom said, "I know you came back because of me."

My throat swelled. It was true and now we'd die together. So much for me proving I was better than white trash. Here I go dying after getting a full scholarship for high school.

Suddenly there was a rap on the door. Then something hard hit it and we both screamed. When a figure showed up outside our door we nearly died on the bed.

"Brenda, Amy....I mean Miss Dewberry?" a voice asked.

I recognized the voice as Joshua. Theresea's Down Syndrome uncle. He was like any typical adult with the condition except he didn't let it stop him from being a storm chaser. Then I remembered.

"You're in your Weather Chaser aren't you?" I hoped.

"Yeah, come on," he said hurrying us out.

So my mom and I ran out the door and into the RV of our canary coloured saviour. As soon as we were all in Joshua pulled off the hood of his rancoat and drive off.

"How did you find us?" my mother asked.

""Theresa wanted to go check on you but my sister wouldn't let her go near a door," he said, "so I snuck out and used my GPS."

"That was very smart of you," I said hearing how accomplished he felt.

"It was nothing."

My mother and I clutched to each other under a blanket. It was everything to us.


  1. Thank you for entering my 2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest! The six finalists will be announced on Friday, May 25th. I will further comment on your entry on Thursday.

  2. Very dramatic story! It made me like the character a lot that she went back for her mother. Best of luck in the blogfest! :)

  3. Having braved several hurricanes, I can totally feel the tension here. Thanks for the story.

  4. Such a beautiful story in so many ways!

  5. Love how well you developed your characters in such a short piece!

  6. Excellent use of the prompt. You could feel the tension of Brenda and her mother throughout, and I let out a sigh of relief when Joshua showed up.

  7. deeper meaning! wonderful story!

  8. Thank goodness for that GPS, eh?

  9. I love the way the story ended. I have the feeling the narrator has learned a lot from going through the storm.

  10. I love that their savior had Down's Syndrome. People tend to not think about what people CAN do even with disabilities.

  11. Excelent descriptions. I could feel it.

    I too live in the path of 'the storm'- STX.

  12. Wonderful story and glad it had a happy ending. yes, calamities bring out the best and worst in people.

  13. Wow! You do a great job of involving us in your main character from the beginning through the end . .. great story!

  14. I loved this post. You captured your main character beautifully.

  15. Very touching story. It's refreshing to read about someone helping others.

  16. I agree about trig tests. ;-) Like others have already noted, it's wonderful how, in this moment of crises, the good in people came to the fore.
    Some Dark Romantic

  17. I really enjoyed this story. There is a sprinkling of background and great voice. Well done!

    I'll announce the finalists tomorrow.

  18. I liked the "canary colored savior" line.


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