Wednesday, 1 June 2016

IWSG: The Sum of Things



I am happy today to say today is the first Wednesday of a new month which means time for another IWSG. Everyone who participates gets to share their insecurities with supportive listeners and at times just go into into triumphs and offers of encouragement. To start off let me offer you all a lifetime of happiness, love, understanding, joy and endurance. We all have good and bad times and what matters is how we emerge from the other side and those we help along the way.

Now unto my insecurity. As you know if you have regularly read my posts on my blog that I have issues with exhaustion. Sometimes it can get severe. Life is so much more than one person, place or planet. What I have been thinking about a lot recently is how things are adding up. I have been slowing down because I just can't do things like I used to. During this year's 2016 A to Z Challenge I pushed through a particularly hard time because not only was there a lingering exhaustion but I had a really bad case of the flu. At one point I dropped a cup of water and very nearly passed out. Thankfully I live in the family home and it was one of mother's off days from her part-time teaching job since retiring from full time teaching. She was able to help watch over me until we were sure the worst had passed. Even then I was still able to push through and for a time in early May I was feeling somewhat better and definitely on the very lovely road of recovery.

Then late May came and even today I still feel very exhausted. Last night I took a few minutes break from working and fell asleep. Woke up after 3 a.m. in the morning. There is only so much one person can do when what they are grappling with is their health. Three years ago I was told I had arthritis in one of my knees. Since last year I have been having more and more consistent joint pain. The one that bothers me most is the pain in my arms and more recently my fingers. I have noticed how despite my love for writing with a pen how little I have done much of that for the past few months. Years ago I was the writer who hated typing. Now it seems without me realizing it, typing has become both my best and safest outlet for putting my words on the page.

In a past post I said I hope to find out exactly what is wrong by June/July. Based on how I was doing a while back our family doctor had put me down for a battery of tests. When I have gotten enough money together to do them the list ranges from potential minor illnesses to serious. While I can't say for sure what it is until I go in, based off what has been happening I do have a feeling. Whether I am right or wrong will be seen in the near future.

So you might still be wondering what exactly is my insecurity? Is it the illness or the exhaustion? Yes but that's not why I am sharing this with you today. My insecurity this month and for a while now was sharing what you just read. Yes even with all that's going on I was thinking of you guys. I have known a few bloggers over the years who have recovered from certain illnesses and those who haven't. There are even those who have to live a lifetime with an illness that just has no cure. No matter where anyone falls in it is not easy to tell loved ones you are not well. I consider you guys in such a category. So here I am sharing this with you trying not to cry.

In other news today is Junowrimo and Bunowrimo. Yes I'm still doing it. Sorry but I can't change. More precisely, I won't. Thanks for stopping by today and feel free to worry about me but don't you dare stop going about your day. Much love and faith from your friendly blogger Sheena-kay.

26 comments:

  1. Don't cry! We are with you. God is with you. The great healer knows what's wrong.
    Will pray you have the funds soon to go through those tests.

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    1. Thank you so much Alex. You have always been a supportive person.

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  2. I'm sorry your whole body is struggling. I pray you find out what's wrong soon and can start on the road to recovery.

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  3. So sorry for your health challenges. I hope your doctor can figure out why you are so exhausted and feel bad from the tests you just had. It's so true that you can only do so much when you don't feel well. Your health and your family are the most important. Hope you feel better soon.

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  4. I hope you get an answer soon, sometimes knowing for sure what you are facing is better than imanging all sort of things.

    Betty

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  5. Sometimes there are no good answers and you just make due from day to day. As a fellow sufferer of chronic illness, I'm sending you cheese. It was about 6 years ago I started slowing down and a good friend assumed I was pregnant. She was wrong. I was just sick--but had the energy levels of a super pregnant woman. Ugh. I hope they figure out what's going on with you and there's a remedy, but if not, one day at a time, eh? Sometimes we just have to be gentle with ourselves.

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    1. Very true Crystal. Thanks for sharing your own experience.

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  6. I'm so sorry you are going through this, I know how frustrating, worrying and difficult it must be. I really hope you can get some answers and some solutions for everything.

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  7. Sending you strength across the ether, Sheena. So happy you have a loving family who can prop you up when you need it. Take good care. There's a lot of power in prayer and truck loads heading your way.

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  8. I hope you start feeling better. It's wonderful that you have a family to turn to and what sounds like decent medical care from a doctor who's doing tests to narrow down causes.

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  9. Sheena-kay, You must be a patient patient. I know you are sick of struggling, but in due time the medical staff will figure it out or your body will just say--Enough! I'm done with this! Glad your family is with you. They can help promote your healing. don't give up. Praying you will find some answers soon.

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  10. Please take care of yourself! Don't overwork, take breaks, and perhaps shelf some responsibilities until you're better. Take care!

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  11. sometimes I think all of us who blog are ill, too many of us suffer from something, if not something physical (I myself suffer from heart illness) than it is depression. That is why blogosphere can sometimes give more energy than some may think by just offering support or understanding

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  12. Oh wow, I hope they figure it out soon. Lots of hugs and prayers for you, Sheena-kay. Hang in there!

    I almost did BuNoWriMo, but then decided I was already too stressed and adding to it wouldn't help things. Good luck!

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  13. You took a huge step talking about this. Be proud of that.

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  14. You sound like me. Or my husband. Or one of our many over 40 friends. It's bad when your body starts going downhill. Can't eat or drink like you used to. Things take 3 times longer to heal. The exhaustion and aches and pains are endless and get worse every day. And there's the delight of knowing it'll just get worse. I hope you feel a bit better. Don't push yourself and remember to do things you enjoy so that you relax and stop stressing sometimes. Laughter really is the best medicine. :)

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  15. Hi Sheena - relax if you can, and then do a little and do what you feel like - that I hope will help you be able to cope for those things. Good luck and I do hope healing is nearby .. take care - Hilary

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  16. Your sharing shows your strength. I hope you get the money to do the tests soon so you can find out for sure and hopefully treat it.

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  17. I had a friend who went through all that and they couldn't find anything--they believe it's fibromyalgia. Many of the people I've known who have thought it was something serious found out it wasn't...so I have hope you'll get good news and it'll be something that can be easily managed once they know what treatment to give. Thinking of you and hoping you'll be able to get answers soon.

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  18. Buno and Junowrimio might me great outlets to attack some of the stories I've been putting off during the early part of the year due to me being in a weird place with my writing.

    As for your health, it is very important to make sure to care for yourself. It's humbling to have you share this with us and I am praying that with tests will come knowledge and with knowledge, a best way to move forward accomplishing what will make you the happiest, whatever that may be (HUGS!!)

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  19. I hope you get answers and treatment. If you're exhausted, how can you even think to write? Take care of yourself.

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  20. oh my sweet beautiful friend. i'm so sorry you have struggled lately. i hope you find out what's wrong and can feel stronger soon! i appreciate your words every time i see them! praying for you, sweetie!

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  21. I am so very sorry to hear of your continued poor health. I pray you get the proper diagnosis and treatment sooner rather than later. Take care. Hugs.

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  22. Good luck with everything.

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