IWSG: The Sum of Things

I am happy today to say today is the first Wednesday of a new month which means time for another IWSG. Everyone who participates gets to share their insecurities with supportive listeners and at times just go into into triumphs and offers of encouragement. To start off let me offer you all a lifetime of happiness, love, understanding, joy and endurance. We all have good and bad times and what matters is how we emerge from the other side and those we help along the way.

Now unto my insecurity. As you know if you have regularly read my posts on my blog that I have issues with exhaustion. Sometimes it can get severe. Life is so much more than one person, place or planet. What I have been thinking about a lot recently is how things are adding up. I have been slowing down because I just can't do things like I used to. During this year's 2016 A to Z Challenge I pushed through a particularly hard time because not only was there a lingering exhaustion but I had a really bad case of the flu. At one point I dropped a cup of water and very nearly passed out. Thankfully I live in the family home and it was one of mother's off days from her part-time teaching job since retiring from full time teaching. She was able to help watch over me until we were sure the worst had passed. Even then I was still able to push through and for a time in early May I was feeling somewhat better and definitely on the very lovely road of recovery.

Then late May came and even today I still feel very exhausted. Last night I took a few minutes break from working and fell asleep. Woke up after 3 a.m. in the morning. There is only so much one person can do when what they are grappling with is their health. Three years ago I was told I had arthritis in one of my knees. Since last year I have been having more and more consistent joint pain. The one that bothers me most is the pain in my arms and more recently my fingers. I have noticed how despite my love for writing with a pen how little I have done much of that for the past few months. Years ago I was the writer who hated typing. Now it seems without me realizing it, typing has become both my best and safest outlet for putting my words on the page.

In a past post I said I hope to find out exactly what is wrong by June/July. Based on how I was doing a while back our family doctor had put me down for a battery of tests. When I have gotten enough money together to do them the list ranges from potential minor illnesses to serious. While I can't say for sure what it is until I go in, based off what has been happening I do have a feeling. Whether I am right or wrong will be seen in the near future.

So you might still be wondering what exactly is my insecurity? Is it the illness or the exhaustion? Yes but that's not why I am sharing this with you today. My insecurity this month and for a while now was sharing what you just read. Yes even with all that's going on I was thinking of you guys. I have known a few bloggers over the years who have recovered from certain illnesses and those who haven't. There are even those who have to live a lifetime with an illness that just has no cure. No matter where anyone falls in it is not easy to tell loved ones you are not well. I consider you guys in such a category. So here I am sharing this with you trying not to cry.

In other news today is Junowrimo and Bunowrimo. Yes I'm still doing it. Sorry but I can't change. More precisely, I won't. Thanks for stopping by today and feel free to worry about me but don't you dare stop going about your day. Much love and faith from your friendly blogger Sheena-kay.