*Gasp*
Source: Slowfoot
I know, the coming up with ideas and creating characters I still love but actually sitting down and writing a book from draft to finish has become a somewhat ugly process for me. I can still do it but only in really tiny bursts. This became especially obvious during my ghost writing gig when I had way more fun writing someone else's work than even taking a pen to mine. In fact Beseech which I started this month and gave you a snippet of was the most fun I have had writing something for myself since 2014. I also enjoy Monster City but I gave it a break to focus more on finishing up The Sacrifice Series.
When it comes to blogging however nothing could be more opposite. I see so much potential for 2014. In fact I'm actually excited about the different posts and My Perfect Match was the most fun blogfest post I have done in ages. So anyone thinking that my writing issues extend to blogging, be at ease, my blogging persona is at it's peak and shall not wane. I L-O-V-E blogging and right now if I had to choose between blogging or writing a novel, blogging wins hands down. This is both lovely and disturbing. After all I never planned to a career blogger.
Back to writing, right now I feel like taking a bat to Sacrifice Her. No matter what there is something...I just can't accept it right now. I really want to go on a release and tour...wait no. Sunday I thought 'great now I have to promote this stupid thing' so in truth no I actually want to suffocate my own work with a pillow and bury it in the back yard. The only book that brings true excitement in this series right now is Frozen Doll, the final novella. Great. Not that I don't like the other books and I'm excited about going about getting a cover done for Deadly Luxury. But that's the problem, I'm excited about the cover, not the book. Don't get me wrong, I don't think my work is crap but right now I just feel crappy about doing the work. Get me?
Which is why I have come to a tough but I think necessary decision. I have decided to postpone any publishing of novels or novellas. No new release dates until I have rediscovered my love of writing novels and can truly enjoy dealing with my own work. I had planned at first to give myself a date but I have decided against it. Dates are deadlines and I have decided the last thing I need right now is a deadline. I know that I have hopped from date to date when it comes to Sacrifice HER and feel bad about putting it on hold yet again. But I think it is a really bad idea and disservice for any author to release a book they currently want to maul to death. Yes, really hate it right now and no matter how good the book might be. That can't be a positive thing. So yes, all my books are delayed as of now and until further notice, that is my final decision. Please bear with me and pray for my sanity.
In Other News
I have decided to open myself up and reveal my writing pseudonyms. First one is Roe and yes I have a blog for it too. On this site I'm working on writing LGBT themed YA and unlike with my other writing, it is procrastination and time that slows the writing process for these books. Not burning hate. I am also excited about writing about books staring lesbians/homosexuals because I don't think their lives are explored enough in fiction and sometimes only in overly explicit ways. Not all of them are sexual deviants, sadists or suicidal. Gay characters are just as varied as straight ones. Currently I am working on Lez and Lesbians. A fantasy and contemporary version staring the same characters but in very different settings with different names. They will be released as two separate books.
Also I have Royme which is for adult LGBT books. Yup when I started blogging never thought I would do adult books much less adult gay books. How times have changed. Right now there are The Hatter Series and Cin (stand alone). If anyone heard about Cin, the wip that stars a female character in disguised as a male pirate during 2013 Nano, yup, that was my work. Also have a Pinterest Board and discovered that I'm secretly obsessed about the Mortal Instruments series. See what pseudonyms can reveal about you?
Yes I also have blogs for these but no I don't find that stressful at all. You might think I have a lot on my plate but I actually have fun looking over work under my pseudonyms. I never felt frustrated beyond measure unlike....you know. And you're probably wondering why now do I reveal these? Well while reading L.A. Swift's Author's Note in Static I realized I wanted all my works known to be by me and just those with straight couples/characters. I want to not just be my authentic real life self but also my writing self. And no this is not leading to a revelation that I'm gay. Sorry ladies but this girl is a man's girl. I know, the crushing disappointment will pass. And so will the drugs I'm clearly inhaling.
Now rub your temples and absorb all that has been revealed to you today. You can never say I have never gotten personal with you guys. Maybe a little too personal.
Tomorrow: Moonless Book Review
Thursday: Static Book Review
I think you've made a wise decision. Deadlines are great for trying to make sure you get the work done, but not so great when you aren't happy with what you have created.
ReplyDeleteGood for you. Do what you feel is right for yourself and your books. Congratulations on making a tough decision. I'm so glad you are going to continue blogging.
ReplyDeleteThat is a lot!
ReplyDeleteIf you're in a rut and stagnating with your writing, take a break until you're excited again. I've done that twice now and know the feeling.
Oh I never knew you wrote under other names. Thanks for sharing. It reveals a whole new side of you that I never knew existed! I too get tired of writing sometimes. But then there are the days that I do enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteI love you so much...your "sorry girls" made me laugh so hard.
ReplyDeleteI have days where I want to smother my own literary darlings too (that also made me LOL) and I think sometimes it is the stress we put on ourselves that makes us hate them. This summer I had the worst inner struggle with my writing. I felt like I had to produce something, something of value...to prove to the world I wasn't a loser wasting my time. Maybe that stress is getting to you too? Maybe that's why writing under pen names is more liberating...you don't have to prove anything to the world or yourself with those works.
I finally had to ask myself why I was writing and when I decided I was writing because I loved to write, then I told myself that's all that matters and I have to quit putting pressure on myself to compete with anyone but myself.
You got to do what you got to do...for you. I understand the pen name situation all too well lol!!
ReplyDeleteHoly moly, mama! That's a lot of revelations! My goodness, you've got a lot going on. I say stick to what feels right, and the writing will come when it's ready :)
ReplyDeleteLike Alex, said, a break is necessary from time to time. I take a couple months off writing and blogging each year. Otherwise, you get burned out and it's not fun anymore.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you need a break. I know people who've taken off a year or two. I also know of a woman who decided she had other things she wanted to do. So she did. Life's to short to force something that's not joyful to you.
ReplyDeleteLast time I thought about evangelisation among homosexuals. They also need Gospel, like Muslims, nominal Christians or pagan tribes in Africa. We all are sinners and we should remember about it.
ReplyDelete